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Lately, I've been thinking of doing some serious writing. You all may remember a previous post of mine entitled Sometimes It Never Rains. It wasn't neccesarily about anything inparticular, just something that I had in my brain and wanted to write down to see how it looked. I enjoyed putting my creativity to print so I have another piece I'm going to put up here. In the future, if I have these posts I'll entitle them Sometimes It Never Rains so if your not a fan of these types of my posts you can skip them over without reading them. Hope you all do enjoy them though.

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"Do you remember what we talked about earlier today?" Jennifer asked, steadily holding the wheel of the forest green Bravada as she drove Chris, her boyfriend, towards the movie theater.

"Yea," Chris replied glancing over to her, her eyes remained locked on the road ahead, even though the light had just turned red. "But I wasn't going to bring it up tonight." Or ever, he thought, not speaking it aloud, even though he really wanted to.

"Well, so have I, and I have something I want to say." She could almost feel the lump in her throat as she spoke, Chris however, looked away, a tinge of regret and anger in his eyes. He had known that this was not what he wanted to happen, he had tried all night long to make it as pleasant as possible for the two of them. He hoped that if the night went well enough she would just forget about their previous conversation, but he knew now that that was impossible.

She continued. "I know you said earlier that you didn't want to throw in the towel Chris, you said it was to early to give up on this, but I'm ready to throw it in." Silence rang out inside the Bravada. For Chris, everything was dark, silent, there was no one else in the world right now except the two of them. There wasn't even a car holding them. They were standing in the middle of the road. The stars were gone. They were replaced by a bright spotlight with no origin, just bright and large enough to encircle the both of them. Jennifer was standing across from him looking back at him for a reaction, but his face was expression-less.

Jenn kept driving. Pulling into the parking lot, she knew she had to break the silence, but it was as if she was fighting herself to do it. Finally, she managed to tear the words from her mouth, "Do you want to still see the movie? or do you want to park and talk for a while?" Chris didn't even look at her, he turned his head towards the opposite window. "You've obviously already made up your mind. I don't want to pay for you for this movie, and there's nothing I can say to change your mind so I don't want to talk to you either, just take me home." He knew that he had said that with anger towards her. At that very second, but only for that second, he hated her with every fiber he had. She was his worst enemy. For that second there was nothing she could say to win his trust or his friendship back. Nothing. But only for that second. He turned back towards her and apologized. He could see in her eyes his comment had hit her like a semi.

She may have known that she deserved that, but it still hurt. She wasn't prepared for it. She recognized his apology as sincere so she didn't say anything back.

"Why? What did I do? What did I say?" Chris asked, again looking away. By this time she had parked and all he could see was the lights of the parking garage. All in a straight line. He wished he could look at something else. He wished he could be somewhere else.

"Nothing, Chris, it's not you, it's me." That's not what Jennifer said, but it might as well have been. She also should have added, "we're better off friends," but she bit her lip before she could finish that cliche. "You didn't do anything wrong, you were perfect. You always said the right thing. You always did the right thing. You were always a gentle...."

"Then what was it?" He cut her off. He had to have an answer. Chris had to know what happened so in the future he could avoid it. Whatever he did, he didn't want to repeat the mistake. Chris had enough trouble finding places to meet girls, and he had finally decided to date someone from work, and was soon to find out why that was not a good idea.

"I don't know. There was just no spark there for me," Jen replied. Chris didn't know what to make of that response at first. They had gone out four times. He thought that if there was no spark, there would have been no second or third date. He thought about it for himself a minute. No spark. What was wrong with him that there could be no spark? He realized later that this comment would be the one that haunted him the most. Not that it was over. Not that he was going to have to see her at work everyday. The thought that she could not find a spark about him that attracted her, even though she said that he did everything perfect, even though he treated her like a gentlemen, made him think that there was something terribly wrong with him.

Silence complimented her response. It seemed that this silence between the two of them was finally welcomed. Chris just looked straight ahead. He couldn't grab a thought from his head, his brain was too jumbled. He could feel Jenn shifting uncomfortably in her chair, he noticed in his periphreals that she was looking at him, but those sidelong glances were not something he was prepared to return.

They sat in that parking garage for a long time. Two hours had passed. Chris realized that there was nothing he could say to change her mind. He just kept thinking about what was wrong with him. In those two hours, Jenn and Chris both experienced several different emotions. Chris could tell a few times that Jenn nearly broke down and cried. He would look over on a few occasions and notice single tear drop lines rolling down her soft face. Sometimes, when there was silence, Chris would reminisce about the times they had together, albeit, there weren't many.

Chris determined that Jenn was probably right. They should end it now before things got too heated for him. Chris had a tendency to go overboard in relationships prior to Jenn. He thought about the times they had talked about serious things. He knew she had a lot of things on her plate. He knew she had a lot of personal issues that she had to work out before she would be able to committ any real part of herself to him. He didn't care though. He had repeatedly told her that he wasn't asking her for a committment.

Jenn finally told him she had nothing more to say and he agreed that he was done talking as well. Jenn started the car and headed for her house, were Chris's car was parked. The ride to her house was silent. Chris was alone with his thoughts though. That haunting thought kept resurfacing in the waters of his head. "What's so wrong with me that even when I do everything perfect, I am not attractive to her?"

When they pulled into her driveway, Jenn turned off the engine and sat there, looking at Chris for some kind of life. Chris took a breath and spoke. "You say you overthink everything? Well, I don't mean to sound mean, but I hope you overthink this. I hope it drives you insane over the next few days and I hope that you go back and forth on this decision. I hope that you change your mind, but I'm not holding out much for that. I hope it bothers you though, so you can understand exactly what I'm feeling right now." Chris breathed a small sigh and continued. "Jenn, even though I don't agree with it I respect you more for calling it off now and not dragging me along. I just want you to know that the last few dates we had were some of the best dates I've ever been on. Your a sweet girl, your funny, your smart, your gorgeous. I'm really going to miss spending time with you."

He had said his peace. He opened the door of the Bravada and got out. Walked slowly to his car and got inside. When he pulled out of her driveway, she was still sitting in her Bravada, he knew his words had struck the exact chord he was hoping they would. He drove away from her driveway and toward his home. He knew that if she really didn't feel anything that this was the right move, but it would take him some time to come to that realization. Time. He had it now. He needed it more then ever, but he felt like it was his kryptonite.

Jennifer sat in the driver seat. Tears ran down her cheeks. His words stuck with her. That's what she liked about him so much, his honesty. He always had told her what he was thinking without holding back. She had just sent away the only guy that was ever like that with her. She wished he hadn't left. She wished he had just stayed in the car with her, just so she would feel some sort of security blanket, but she knew he had to leave. She looked at the clock. Time had passed so quickly. An hour since he had left. Tears stained her cheeks, makeup washed away with it. Time. She needed it so bad, wanted it desperately. She didn't have it though, she didn't have any.