Guythatnooneknows Has Opinions

And today's topic of my hatred and scorn..... Ashlee Simpson!! Hooray!!

Now, I can't entitle this post Ashlee Simpson... WHA HAPPEN??? for the simple reason that nothing happened to Ashlee Simpson, she was always this stupid, retarded, ugly and untalented. At one time, my good friend Chuck was of the opinion that Ashlee Simpson was super hot. For my money though her sister Jessica would make the better lay. Here's where Ashlee went wrong. Instead of staying in acting on 7th Heaven and show's like that, she decided to have a singing career and a reality television show.

This is retarded. For one, she can't sing. For two, her reality show SO pisses me off everytime I watch it for longer then five minutes. She has an episode coming up soon here where she turns 20 years old. She decides that she needs to cut her hair like Natalie Imbruglia in order for her to be more mature because, as she puts it, "cutting your hair is part of finding yourself." What

Maybe cutting your hair is part of finding yourself... IF YOUR NAME IS FUCKING SAMPSON AND YOUR IN THE BIBLE!! Do you think Ashlee that cutting your hair makes you hotter? Do you think it will give you a better singing voice? Do you think it will get you another invitation to perform on SNL? BECAUSE IT WON'T!!

The thing that I hate about Ashlee Simpson is that she won't go away. She has had opportunities a plenty for her career to die and for whatever reason she just won't go back to acting. Let me give you some examples. First, it was unbelievably apparent that she couldn't sing in like the 2nd episode of her first season on MTV when it took her the better part of an entire day to hit one line in her song. Second, she TOTALLY fucked up on SNL, which is only one of the biggest stages for musicians to perform in our pop culture world. Then she blamed her band for her obvious lip syncing ploy.

And finally, her absolutely horrible live performance at the Orange Bowl. I don't care what her excuse was for why she sounded so awful, if your having problems of any kind, don't sing live. Even after all of that, she still hasn't died and withered and gone away.

It's obvious to me that she's a twenty year old trapped in a sixteen year old's brain. And her goddamn nose is too fucking large for her unusually skinny and boney face!!