Guythatnooneknows Has Opinions

Ok, this is gonna be a long one, but I think all of my loyal viewers will enjoy it.

For those of you that don't know, I, Guythatnooneknows, am a diehard Teamster member. I work for UPS. I am a proud and card carrying member, or, will be as soon as I apply for one of those nifty teamster Mastercards that my bud Big Rand has. Anyways, I dygress. From time to time when reading my blog, you may come across a rant about particular happenings at work and about my union. This, my friends and compatriots, is one of those times.

At UPS, my main job is unloading trailers. I don't have enough seniority to either go full-time or become a driver, so I chose, in my opinion, the next best thing. I work with approximately 20 people on a daily basis, upon which I am expected to interact and work hard to get a job done in 4 hours. There are two supervisors in my work area at all times. I don't think that I need to go into the love/hate relationship between supervisors and union personnel, but I would gather from the preceding statement that you can tell, it's not the most fruitful of relationships in my life. Anyways, I dygress, again.

There is a girl, 20 years of age named Amy Neimchek (or however the fuck you spell her last name). She's blonde, decent figure, kind of attractive, except for this thing she has where her gut hangs out past her disproportionately small breasts. The only reason I mention this is because I have had previous conversations about this with a few of my friends and I bring it up only to denounce Amy on a physical level as well as an emotional level, later on. You see, Amy thinks she's the fuckin cat's meow, the fuckin whole nine yards, the fuckin hot shit, but she's not. In fact, she's nearly the opposite.

For the last few months, Amy has been pursueing a job as supervisor, which, until about 2 months ago, I could have given a shit less about. Go ahead bitch, ruin your job security, lose your stellar benefits, come in earlier to work, take shit from union guys, despite the warnings I have given you. Anyways, I dygress.

At around 6:45 every morning at UPS an trailer filled with Next Day Air packages arrives at UPS docks, then around 7:15 every morning a second trailer filled with Next Day Air packages arrives. Generally the unload crew in these trailers is made up of myself and Amy and a few randomly generated masses of goo from the rest of the West Wall Unload Crew. As of late, Amy has developed a sort of, how should I put this, demeanor, that lets say, isn't cool. You see, Amy likes to pretend to be the boss of the Air Trailers. Why? you may find yourself asking, well, because she thinks that the "higher ups" at UPS give a shit about her. Which, honestly, isn't the case. So, about two weeks ago, Amy and I had a rather heated exchange in which things were said very pointedly towards the other. I shall present this exchange to you, uncut and unsensored now:

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Guy walks into the air trailer and doubles up with Girl #1 to unload 2 cans of the 5 in Air Trailer Number 1.

Guy and Girl #1 move to Air Trailer Number 2 and unload the first completely full can in Air Trailer Number 2

Guy and Girl #1 finish first completely full Air can.

Guy goes and helps Cool Ass Black Dude That Got Shot 4 Months Ago in an alternate Air can, while Girl #1 exits the air trailer unload dock.

Cool Ass Black Dude That Got Shot 4 Months Ago leaves air trailer unload dock, Amy Niemchek (or however the fuck she spells her last name) teams up with Guy to finish the can that Cool Ass Black Dude That Got Shot 4 Months Ago had to leave.

Amy says, "Geez Guy, that Air can you unloaded with Girl #1 took you guys a long time."

Guy replies, "Ya, it was completely full so it took us a little longer then normal."

Amy retorts, "Ya, thats why when there is a completely full can of Air, we only do it with 1 person until it is about half full."

Guy scoffs.

Guy gafaws.

Guy's fists want to beat the shit out of Amy, however, Guy is way smarter then to act on those agressions.

Guy, after a moment of thought, calmly answers, "Well, that's all fine and good, but do you get paid by the speed at which you unload Amy? Because I know that I don't in fact get paid to be speedy, I get paid by the hour."

Amy quickly spouts, "No, but that's not a very good attitude to have."

Guy frowning, eyebrows beginning to twitch, "Listen Amy, if there were insentives for me to unload faster, such as, increase in pay or maybe a breakfast after work here and there, then I would go faster, however, there isn't. So I see no such need for any over the top mentality to unloading."

Guy, happy with his response, continues unloading, thinking that that is the end of that.

Amy, however, like the bitch that she is, always has something to say. "How do you live with yourself with that kind of attitude, don't you want to be the best you can be at work? Don't you want to set an example for people that haven't been here that long?

Guy, shocked at such a ludacris statement retorts, "How do I live with myself? I live about 20 bucks richer with myself at the end of the week, thats how!"

... and, adding an un-needed aside...

"By the way Amy, I hear you get paid to kiss supervisors' asses now, how much money does that make you at the end of the week."

(Now, this one takes some explaining. You see Amy is known for staying after work, ON THE CLOCK I might add, to hang around with all the supervisors at the end of the day in their office. This is a LARGE no-no for any union member.)

Amy stops catching my packages, "What the hell is that supposed to mean, I was just giving you some advice on how to unload more efficiently!"

Guy surmizes, "You know what? I have been unloading this here Air trailer since you were a freshmen in high school, so don't tell me how to "improve" my unloading efficiency."

...pausing for a moment and making sure what I'm about to do is good...

"And, if you like to unload 1 person per can so bad, why don't you go ahead and finish this one up yourself!"

Guy drops the 50lbs package in his hands and walks out of the Air trailer, leaving Amy to finish by herself.

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There you have it folks. Now over the last few weeks I've been trying to decide how to deal with this situation and I've come up with two options.

Option Number 1

Be a total and complete dick to her from now until forever. Those of you that know me, know that if I'm even mildly irritated by someone, know that I will generally shutdown on them being any type of friend with me. Believe it or not however, this is generally not something I come to lightly, even after I have decided that your not going to be my friend anymore, I am constantly second guessing myself, but I ussually am sticking to my first instinct of unrequinted dislike.

Option Number 2

Give her one more chance to treat me with respect and if she blows this chance, become a total dick to her. I'm leaning towards this option currently, but it's hard for me to decide if I've already given her enough chances. See, this is just the boiling point in a long line of little comments she likes to make in the Air trailer. Also, I'm not alone in disliking the things she has to say, I'm just more vocal then anyone else about it. At least 3 other people have mentioned to me their dislike for Amy and one of those three Amy probably considers to be a really close friend of hers at work (hahaha).

So, I need your input faithful viewers. I implore you to use those little comment pencils at the bottom of this post and let me know what you think I should do with this situation. Please, don't be shy, I encourage as much audience participation as possible!!

Thanks in advance for your valued opinions...

-Guy